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The Babe Theory Of Political Movements.
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More On The Babe Theory of Political Movements.
In 1830, French artist Eugène Delacroix painted an image that endures today in the hearts and minds of freedom-lovers everywhere, an image of a bare-breasted woman in all her glory, representative of the greater concept of liberty, leading the charge in an epic revolutionary battle (thanks to Frank Warner).
Most art historians believe that the image of the woman is strictly symbolic, but could it be that Delacroix had a particular woman in mind when he painted Liberty?
The values Liberty embodies are so universal, that when both men and women see her resemblance in modern times, we cannot help but connect the dots psychologically, deep down in our very souls. One of America's most enduring symbols of liberty is New York harbor's Statue of Liberty.
The Babe Theory, first described by P.J. O'Rourke in his Parliament of Whores book:
"Best of all, there were hardly any beautiful women at the [Housing Now!] rally. I saw a journalist friend of mine in the Mall, and he and I pursued this line of inquiry as assiduously as our happy private lives allow. Practically every female at the march was a bowser. "We're not being sexist here," my friend insisted. "It's not that looks matter per se. It's just that beautiful women are always on the cutting edge of social trends. Remember how many beautiful women were in the anti-war movement twenty years ago? In the yoga classes fifteen years ago? At the discos ten years ago? On Wall Street five years ago? Where the beautiful women are is where the country is headed," said my friend. "And this," he looked around him, "isn't it."
Look for the babes, and that's where the social action is, that's where the success will be.
While taste in women changes over time and across cultures, there is something fundamental and universal about a beautiful woman. We might call this the universal sign language of babealiciousness.
In recent weeks, Beirut, Lebanon has seen an outpouring of beautiful, sometimes busty women in support of freedom, sovereignty, and the rapid withdrawal of Syrian troops from Lebanon (we have covered this phenonmenon here, here, here, here, and here).
Lebanon's "Cedar Revolution," or alternatively, its "Gucci Revolution," has been fueled by a moral cause, international circumstances, and an effective media strategy.
The babe theory of political movements essentially holds that:
Where and when there are hot babes, an exponential number of men will show up. If 100 cute girls with voluptuous bodies are protesting for freedom, you can count on a thousand men being there as well.
If sexy babes are involved in a peaceful political movement, it has a far greater chance of succeeding. If there are no good-looking women involved, the odds of a successful (and peaceful) movement fall dramatically.
Where and when alluring women are excluded from demonstrations, you can expect greater chances of strife, rioting, and failure.
In Lebanon, women have been leading the charge for freedom, and not by accident. In some ways, the Lebanese women are as much the symbolic embodiment of liberty as Delacroix's Liberty Leading ever was.
If and when Lebanon has free and fair elections and achieves its sovereignty from Syrian tyranny, credit will largely fall on the determination of the Lebanese demonstrators, in conjunction with the Bush Doctrine. As images of attractive Lebanese are beamed around the world via the internet and satellites, the international community has no choice but to rally behind the babes of Lebanon.
In Lebanon, the democracy movement has flourished, and because of the abounding sexiness, the anti-Syrian protestors have added hundreds of thousands of otherwise disengaged, apolitical, apathetic males to their ranks. In Jordan, on the other hand, the opposition needs an injection of sexy.
The Orange Babe Revolution.
In its peaceful and successful political movement late last year, you had Princess Leia look-alike, the ultra-babealicious vixen Yulia Tymoshenko (now Prime Minister) leading the public relations charge on behalf of poison-stricken Viktor Yushchenko:
But Ukraine's Orange Revolution had other prominent babes than Yulia:
In recent years in the United States, the left's electoral success has diminished, just as the concept of "hot left-wing chicks" has gone from a nostalgic abstraction to a flat-out laughable oxymoron.
At left-wing protests in America today, it is more common to see this:
To be sure, there are hot left-wingers out there at these anti-war rallies, but they are generally the exception that proves the rule.
Similarly, in Lebanon, one babe does not make a successful pro-Syrian rally:
Is the Babe Theory of Political Movements rock-solid? Is it even a real theory?
Maybe. Maybe not.
There have been successful (but mostly violent) political movements throughout history in which women have been marginalized, and there have been political movements with good-looking women that have failed.
Isn't this theory more than a bit shallow? Afterall, women are more than an assemblage of ample breasts, nice legs, cute faces, and flowing hair. Women have always provided necessary and relevant viewpoints; through history, women have been at the forefront of important moral causes such as the abolition of slavery.
Women are increasingly finding themselves in positions of power and authority, and very few Americans today would have a problem voting for a woman for president. There are even more women than men in college today in the United States. Is it any wonder that many pundits are predicting a Clinton versus Rice battle in 2008?
So, is the Babe Theory itself shallow, or does the Babe Theory merely describe a certain shallowness, perhaps even chauvinism?
Well, yeah, it is shallow, all around, both the theory itself, and what it describes, but in the end the Babe Theory describes whether a movement will be successful, not why the men are attracted to a movement.
Recently, in Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan, elections were marked by severe irregularities, but with no babes showing off for the cameras, speaking to the international community in the universal language of babealiciousness, the media attention of the protests in those two countries was scant, at best.
It's shallow. But it's reality.
The Babely-Come-Lately Sub-Theorem.
An alternate view of the Babe Theory holds that attractive women are drawn more to successful political movements than to fringe movements. In other words, if the ideas behind a political movement has value, if the fight has a noble purpose, if it has worth, it will attract lovely young ladies, who then become the face of the movement. Women (babes), then, are discerning consumers of political movements, and when there is a worthwhile one, they buy into it whole-heartedly. Under this view of the Babe Theory, sexy women just happen to be found at successful demonstrations; the sexy women are not actually responsible for the success of the movement, babes at political rallies are but a symptom of success, an effective heuristic for prognosticating, an augury of what is to come.
The Babe Prerequisite Corollary.
Another view of the Babe Theory holds that a society will not be ready for democratic reforms if it does not have babes. Babes, you see, are a sign of a certain minimal level of affluence. In international relations circles, there is a belief that a society must have a certain level of wealth before it can truly become free and democratic. Folks like Fareed Zakaria argue that a democracy is nothing special, and perhaps even inimical to the world, if it is "illiberal." Zakaria uses wealth as a short-cut for determining whether a nation is ready for true democracy.
So, if there are babes, it means the country is ready for democracy, because babes are a sign of wealth and progress.
...the "babe theory" is actually a clever way of expressing a profound point. The edifice of Middle Eastern autocracy and its particularly virulent outgrowth--terrorism--rests upon the repression of women. Liberate female energies from political cage of tyranny and the religious prison of Islamic doctrine and the authority of the bearded mullahs and "pious" terrorists and sexually repressed holy men will crumble like the desiccated dust of the mummies they are.
Future democratic revolutionaries take note. The key to protest in the 21st century will be the photo. Get your flag, you signs, put your hot women out front and change the world.
If babes must lead the democratization of the Middle East, then lead on, babes. Lead on.
Posted by Will Franklin · 21 March 2005 11:50 AM
I wasn't trying to insinuate men were shallow...It is just that I happen to know, that if you are a women and have a nice clevage, men just seem to really like you!! I can think of many times being out at the lake in my bathing suit and having someone talk to me breasts... It was just rather odd. Those are really beautiful pictures! I have never seen so many beautiful pictures!
Posted by: Linda at March 21, 2005 12:43 PM
Has anyone ever noticed FOX news has some babealicious babes? Loren Green is the most!
Posted by: Dave at March 21, 2005 12:52 PM
The first Lebanese woman is from the Hizbollah pro-Assad rally.
Posted by: Jacknut at March 21, 2005 01:46 PM
I think that top babe is actually supporting Assad. Notice the picture of Assad being waved behind her.
Posted by: JakeV at March 21, 2005 01:47 PM
You guys are right... I am updating now...
Posted by: Will Franklin at March 21, 2005 01:53 PM
I don't think that Jane Fonda/John Kerry is the hoaxed one (if it was, why not have them kissing over a picture of Ho?) the hoaxed one was of them at a microphone together.
they're both still kinda despicable.
Posted by: dan at March 21, 2005 02:15 PM
This is actually a profound theory in at least one other dimnension you only touched on. It is also true that only a relatively wealthy society can have a significant number of babes. In a repressive country, only the dictators wife and mistresses and those of his entourage can afford decent clothes, time to do their hair, freedom from hard, dirty labor, etc. In dirt-poor countries women work at brutally hard labor and can't cultivate their appearance and get worn out early, whatever genetic gifts they may have inherited. And a certain minimal level of affluence is also a key variable in the transition to democracy.
Also, I have to say, sad as it makes me to say it, there are far too many very cute Lefty women involved in the protests, etc. I have seen recently in DC. Some of them were even as good looking as the young Jane Fonda was. So, the American Left is still viable, for now, though the trend seems to be toward an increasing number of GOP babes. Let us hope this continues.
Posted by: Lexington Green at March 21, 2005 02:39 PM
The photo of the Mondale supporter is not really fair. I lived in St. Paul for three years. There are NO hot babes, of any political leaning, in that poor, sad city.
Posted by: Beruang at March 21, 2005 03:11 PM
In Venezuela, the beautiful women filled the opposition protests while the sullen angry brooding violent men predominated at the pro-Chavez rallies. Tell me again if there was fraud? See the evidence for yourself:
Posted by: A.M. Mora y Leon at March 21, 2005 03:12 PM
You're babes theory as 'indicator' might have a deep kernel of truth. If one considers:
1) Women though tough, are less physical than men, and typically less confrational than men. Being less risk averse, the presence of babes indicate that the venue they consider safe participtating in.
2) Many societies heap alot of abuse and less recognition of women. If (1) can be assured and the opportunity exists for women to either increase their participation or reduce thier burden they will graviatate to it.
3) If (1,2) are holding true women have one last factor to consider -- fear of retalation, especially in a totalatarian state. Now I will hazard that in most societies women are well connected up and down the social order, more so than the men. The women are able to ascertain the changes sooner than the men in the same social structure. So women in a certain sense are the canary in the mine, recognizing the social changes first then participating in the political change when the time is ripe.
I'm no social scientist but it seems to make a fair amount of sense. Fact, the question would be, at what point percentage wise of women to men does it become a tipping point (babes or not)?
Posted by: JohnM at March 21, 2005 03:44 PM
As a St. Paulite who works with native hot babes (of course they are all from republican families) I would dispute the claim of plainness for my fine town.
Posted by: billhedrick at March 21, 2005 04:20 PM
WOW! What nice pictures of Hanoi Jane and Scarry Kerry!
Posted by: Linda at March 21, 2005 04:37 PM
This would make a great PhD thesis if you could find a university open to reason.
Posted by: Ralph at March 21, 2005 04:43 PM
I thought it had been established that Kerry had been photoshopped into that picture. Of course, he probably did it himself. Like he painted himself into Appocolypse Now.
Posted by: moptop at March 21, 2005 04:50 PM
Don't forget the babes of the Venezuela protests: http://blogs.salon.com/0001330/categories/venezuelanBeauty/
Posted by: Robert Mayer at March 21, 2005 04:50 PM
>The photo of the Mondale supporter is not really fair. I lived in St. Paul for three years. There are NO hot babes, of any political leaning, in that poor, sad city.
That post from Beruang is certainly not true. The lesson I draw is that any political movement or social setting he attached himself to instantly became unable to draw in any attractive women.
Posted by: wilson at March 21, 2005 05:26 PM
For further confirmation check out these protest babes from less-than-successful demonstrations. By the way, I would add a corollary to PJ's theory. Old, unattractive protest babes in the Anglosphere often feel they need to take off their clothes to gain the media attention young hubbalicious babes get as a matter of course. [I know the pics I show don't precisely support this idea, but it seems to have more general application].
Kyrgyz protest babe: [definitely work safe]
Kiwi protest babe: [not work safe]
Posted by: D.B. Light at March 22, 2005 12:09 AM
Whoops, I duplicated one of your pictures. Sorry! I'm on a dialup today and it takes a long time for these pictures to load.
Posted by: Dale Light at March 22, 2005 12:29 AM
I think that Norm Coleman is kind of a babe! a man babe!
Posted by: Zsa zsa at March 22, 2005 05:11 AM
Who wants to start: "Babes for Boarder Control!" Hot babes, march to D.C. and demand we control our boarders!!!
Posted by: Josh at March 22, 2005 09:00 AM
What an amazing piece of tripe. Is that all you can do, regurgitating right wing blather and
Posted by: Pish Posh at March 22, 2005 01:23 PM
If this is tripe it's the best looking tripe I've seen in a long time. And I bet you're getting a hell of a lot of hits. Thus proving the theory!
Posted by: Kosher Goper at March 22, 2005 04:29 PM
Just take a look over the years at the difference between the Republican presidential daughters compared to the democratic daughters.
Let us begin by asking: Is God just kinder to Republican daughters?
Let's start with JFK! Caroline is sort of a babe, but because JFK was assasinated it doesn't count! Next we have LBJ.
Does anyone want to comment on LBJ's daughters? Then we have the Nixon girls. I would venture to say they were rather babealicious.
Next we have Gerald Ford. I believe his sons were babealicious, but they don't count because Gerald was not elected and he had males.
CARTER...Hmm let's see I would not really be going to far out on a limb to suggest Amy could contend.
REAGAN... I vote Maurine and the little commie child are in the presidential babe running!
The Bushes, I really don't recall what their daughter looks like, but if the Bush boys are any indication I say she is most likely a babe.
Next we get to that little Chelsey Clinton. Hmmmm...My mother always told me "if you don't have anything nice to say about someone don't say it at all."
Okay... Now we arrive to the Bush girls. The twins! Babealicious is going to rock the vote!!!
Posted by: Zsa Zsa at March 23, 2005 01:09 PM
Okay - so here's my take. Women want freedom. Women want men who are rational, power-sharing and non-violent. Women want a safe society - for themselves, their families, etc. The fun of rioting and blowing heads off is a bit lost on most women.
Given all the above, it is clear that rational women - babes included (myself included on both counts), will prefer a freedom spreading movement that decries violence and oppression. Hot guys (nice ones - not thug ones) dont hurt either ;)
Posted by: Miriam at March 25, 2005 01:43 AM
A little late to this ...
In authortarian societies the only women willing to protest are those who have more of their lives behind them. Its even harder to justify the killing of grandmothers than it is to justify the killing of "babes".
And its one thing for babes to protest...martyrdom is a bit much for most mortals.
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Posted by: m . raj at May 13, 2005 05:48 AM
I was always of the opinion it took one of two things to get guys to show up: lots of decent looking women or free beer. Provide one or the other, or both, and there will be a line at the front door.
Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 20, 2005 10:00 AM
This applied to the hippie movement in the '60's too - I realized that hippieness was over when those so sexy "hippie chicks" started looking like "hippie shanks."
Posted by: Whitehall at June 2, 2005 06:15 PM
I concur, Whitehall.
Posted by: Will Franklin at June 4, 2005 05:57 AM
Posted by: dorkafork at June 4, 2005 07:23 AM
fantstic, we r canadains but we love yulia can u send some useful links to see her personnel pics
Posted by: jith at July 1, 2005 11:02 AM
I wondered why i didn't see any babes at those Libertarian coventions. So what about the latest Move On effort, will Soros buy babes for the sheehan thing? "Rent A Babe" Maybe they could have a song or ditty, to attract babes. Would it go something like this: MOVE ON little eichmans MOVE ON. Osama is for peace, Wbah is for war. MOVE ON little eichmans MOVE ON. Liberate Iraq from the crusaders. MOVE ON little eichmans MOVE ON. I can't stand any more, but I hope you get the point. Thanks for the babe pics
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