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« Lame, Unclassy Attempted Rocking Of The Vote. | WILLisms.com | John Bolton Doesn't Do Carrots. » More On The Babe Theory of Political Movements.In 1830, French artist Eugène Delacroix painted an image that endures today in the hearts and minds of freedom-lovers everywhere, an image of a bare-breasted woman in all her glory, representative of the greater concept of liberty, leading the charge in an epic revolutionary battle (thanks to Frank Warner). Most art historians believe that the image of the woman is strictly symbolic, but could it be that Delacroix had a particular woman in mind when he painted Liberty? The values Liberty embodies are so universal, that when both men and women see her resemblance in modern times, we cannot help but connect the dots psychologically, deep down in our very souls. One of America's most enduring symbols of liberty is New York harbor's Statue of Liberty. The Babe Theory, first described by P.J. O'Rourke in his Parliament of Whores book: "Best of all, there were hardly any beautiful women at the [Housing Now!] rally. I saw a journalist friend of mine in the Mall, and he and I purused this line of inquiry as assiduously as our happy private lives allow. Practically every female at the march was a bowser. "We're not being sexist here," my friend insisted. "It's not that looks matter per se. It's just that beautiful women are always on the cutting edge of social trends. Remember how many beautiful women were in the anti-war movement twenty years ago? In the yoga classes fifteen years ago? At the discos ten years ago? On Wall Street five years ago? Where the beautiful women are is where the country is headed," said my friend. "And this," he looked around him, "isn't it." Look for the babes, and that's where the social action is, that's where the success will be.
While taste in women changes over time and across cultures, there is something fundamental and universal about a beautiful woman. We might call this the universal sign language of babealiciousness. In recent weeks, Beirut, Lebanon has seen an outpouring of beautiful, sometimes busty women in support of freedom, sovereignty, and the rapid withdrawal of Syrian troops from Lebanon (we have covered this phenonmenon here, here, here, here, and here). Lebanon's "Cedar Revolution," or alternatively, its "Gucci Revolution," has been fueled by a moral cause, international circumstances, and an effective media strategy. The babe theory of political movements essentially holds that: Where and when there are hot babes, an exponential number of men will show up. If 100 cute girls with voluptuous bodies are protesting for freedom, you can count on a thousand men being there as well. If sexy babes are involved in a peaceful political movement, it has a far greater chance of succeeding. If there are no good-looking women involved, the odds of a successful (and peaceful) movement fall dramatically. Where and when alluring women are excluded from demonstrations, you can expect greater chances of strife, rioting, and failure. In Lebanon, women have been leading the charge for freedom, and not by accident. In some ways, the Lebanese women are as much the symbolic embodiment of liberty as Delacroix's Liberty Leading ever was.
If and when Lebanon has free and fair elections and achieves its sovereignty from Syrian tyranny, credit will largely fall on the determination of the Lebanese demonstrators, in conjunction with the Bush Doctrine. As images of attractive Lebanese are beamed around the world via the internet and satellites, the international community has no choice but to rally behind the babes of Lebanon. One Jordanian political humorist's take: In Lebanon, the democracy movement has flourished, and because of the abounding sexiness, the anti-Syrian protestors have added hundreds of thousands of otherwise disengaged, apolitical, apathetic males to their ranks. In Jordan, on the other hand, the opposition needs an injection of sexy. The Orange Babe Revolution. Take Ukraine. In its peaceful and successful political movement late last year, you had Princess Leia look-alike, the ultra-babealicious vixen Yulia Tymoshenko (now Prime Minister) leading the public relations charge on behalf of poison-stricken Viktor Yushchenko:
But Ukraine's Orange Revolution had other prominent babes than Yulia:
In recent years in the United States, the left's electoral success has diminished, just as the concept of "hot left-wing chicks" has gone from a nostalgic abstraction to a flat-out laughable oxymoron. At left-wing protests in America today, it is more common to see this: ...or this:
...than anything close to Jane "Barbarella" Fonda:
To be sure, there are hot left-wingers out there at these anti-war rallies, but they are generally the exception that proves the rule. Similarly, in Lebanon, one babe does not make a successful pro-Syrian rally:
Is the Babe Theory of Political Movements rock-solid? Is it even a real theory? Maybe. Maybe not. There have been successful (but mostly violent) political movements throughout history in which women have been marginalized, and there have been political movements with good-looking women that have failed.
Isn't this theory more than a bit shallow? Afterall, women are more than an assemblage of ample breasts, nice legs, cute faces, and flowing hair. Women have always provided necessary and relevant viewpoints; through history, women have been at the forefront of important moral causes such as the abolition of slavery. Women are increasingly finding themselves in positions of power and authority, and very few Americans today would have a problem voting for a woman for president. There are even more women than men in college today in the United States. Is it any wonder that many pundits are predicting a Clinton versus Rice battle in 2008? So, is the Babe Theory itself shallow, or does the Babe Theory merely describe a certain shallowness, perhaps even chauvinism? Well, yeah, it is shallow, all around, both the theory itself, and what it describes, but in the end the Babe Theory describes whether a movement will be successful, not why the men are attracted to a movement. Recently, in Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan, elections were marked by severe irregularities, but with no babes showing off for the cameras, speaking to the international community in the universal language of babealiciousness, the media attention of the protests in those two countries was scant, at best. It's shallow. But it's reality. The Babely-Come-Lately Sub-Theorem. An alternate view of the Babe Theory holds that attractive women are drawn more to successful political movements than to fringe movements. In other words, if the ideas behind a political movement has value, if the fight has a noble purpose, if it has worth, it will attract lovely young ladies, who then become the face of the movement. Women (babes), then, are discerning consumers of political movements, and when there is a worthwhile one, they buy into it whole-heartedly. Under this view of the Babe Theory, sexy women just happen to be found at successful demonstrations; the sexy women are not actually responsible for the success of the movement, babes at political rallies are but a symptom of success, an effective heuristic for prognosticating, an augury of what is to come. The Babe Prerequisite Corollary. Another view of the Babe Theory holds that a society will not be ready for democratic reforms if it does not have babes. Babes, you see, are a sign of a certain minimal level of affluence. In international relations circles, there is a belief that a society must have a certain level of wealth before it can truly become free and democratic. Folks like Fareed Zakaria argue that a democracy is nothing special, and perhaps even inimical to the world, if it is "illiberal." Zakaria uses wealth as a short-cut for determining whether a nation is ready for true democracy. So, if there are babes, it means the country is ready for democracy, because babes are a sign of wealth and progress. ...the "babe theory" is actually a clever way of expressing a profound point. The edifice of Middle Eastern autocracy and its particularly virulent outgrowth--terrorism--rests upon the repression of women. Liberate female energies from political cage of tyranny and the religious prison of Islamic doctrine and the authority of the bearded mullahs and "pious" terrorists and sexually repressed holy men will crumble like the desiccated dust of the mummies they are. Today's young Lebanese men and women alike have a sincere appreciation for American culture, American values, and even the much-maligned American President. One blogger notes: Future democratic revolutionaries take note. The key to protest in the 21st century will be the photo. Get your flag, you signs, put your hot women out front and change the world. If babes must lead the democratization of the Middle East, then lead on, babes. Lead on. UPDATE: Also- Posted by Will Franklin · 21 March 2005 11:50 AM Trackback PingsTrackBack URL for this entry: Listed below are links to weblogs that reference More On The Babe Theory of Political Movements.:
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