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Willisms

« Wednesday Caption Contest: Part 16. | WILLisms.com | A CAFTA Squeaker: Democrats Run Left. »

Bigots In My Neighborhood.

I was just in my driveway changing a tire (a flat), swarmed by mosquitoes (killed 7 of them, bitten at least that many times), dripping with sweat, grease splotched all over my hands and on my baby blue Texas Longhorns shirt, when along comes a slightly overweight white man in his late 30s or early 40s, walking his small, fluffy, white dog, looking equally disheveled.

He spots my bumper and does a cartoonish double-take. A Bush/Cheney sticker. From 2000, no less.

bushcheney2000.gif

Oldschool.

So he engages in conversation-

Him: "Does that say Bush / Cheney?"

Me: "Yes, it does."

Him: "I wouldn't be advertising that if I were you."

Me: "Oh, yeah? Why not?"

Him: "Because it proves that you're a bigot."

Me: "How so?"

Him: "Especially in this neighborhood."

Me: "I don't think so."

At this point, his body language becomes aggressive, and he starts walking toward me.


Him: "You need to get outta here. You are a bigot."

So I pick up my socket wrench, and his dog sort of pulls him down the street in the other direction, stopping his march toward me.

Not wanting to engage (I just want to get my tire changed), I just sort of shake my head "no."


Him: "I can't believe this. When word gets around, it is going to be miserable for you."


Me: "Excuse me?"


Him: "Unbelievable. You bigot."


Me: "What are you suggesting?"


Him: "That you need to take that sticker off your car and stop showing your ignorance."


Me: "No, thanks."

So he walks away, turning over his shoulder a few times to give me a death ray stare. I go on changing my tire, ignoring him, because it's hot and steamy outside, and I just want to get my tire changed.

This whole thing sent me on an eerie flashback to about 15 months ago. All of our neighbors had put Kerry signs in their windows or yards or both. So we put two Bush signs in our second-story windows in response.

The next morning, our across-the-street neighbor, a white man nearing 60, was ranting to another neighbor, a ~35-year old white woman, directing his voice directly toward the signs (and thus, into the window).

It was your typical left-wing litany.

Corporations this; illegal war that; Bush is an idiot; blah blah blah. A few f-bombs, as well. And some other names, seemingly directed my way. I think I recall hearing a "we can't let them do this... why can't they just go away."

Then, a few seconds later, several raps on the window pane. The guy had actually scooped up a few bits of gravel (they were repaving the streets at the time) and thrown them at my window (this was just after Kerry secured the nomination, so emotions were running high for left-wingers).

So I peek out, then decide that's just unacceptable behavior. So I open the blinds and make my way down the stairs, then go outside. They are gone. But I stand outside for several minutes, inspecting the rocks that had been thrown, looking around so they'd know I had caught them in the act.

Yep, there are bigots in the neighborhood, all right. Bigots all over.

UPDATE:
I guess I should explain a little more about my neighborhood, so you have a little context. It's near downtown Houston, and this was a decidedly "Montrose moment," although we're almost more part of River Oaks (President George H. W. Bush's old Congressional district) than Montrose. We even receive the River Oaks Examiner on our doorstep, although we certainly don't pay to subscribe. Montrose (which we're on the border of) is known for its thriving gay community-- and bigotry, apparently.

Posted by Will Franklin · 27 July 2005 02:03 PM

Comments

Will, are you a big guy? Stature-wise, that is.

Tough break but no one deserves to be threatened in their home. It may behoove you to point some cheap, wireless cameras at your driveway and/or back yard.

Just in case.

But if nothing of significance has happened yet, they may be all bark and no bite, which his good, I guess.

Posted by: Hoodlumman at July 27, 2005 02:28 PM

I am sure it's all bark and no bite. The guy today was way out of shape, and other than having a good 50 pounds on me, would have been easy to take down. And the guy who threw the rocks is a cancer patient.

So I am not worried.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 27, 2005 02:38 PM

That is one of the hazards of living in that area... It is too bad when left wingers feel the need to become confrontational! ... The last I checked? This is still a free country!... What an asshat of a neighbor to actually suggest you had better take it off your car!... Radical's no matter is they are left or right are obnoxious!... One of the beautiful things about living in a free democracy is we all can express our opinions in our vote!... It looks like your neighbor needs to accept the fact that Bush is our President!...AND... If you want to have a Bush bumper sticker stuck to your face it is OK! Majority rules the last I heard!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 02:42 PM

Hoodlumman... for some reason, Will has always had people who want to fight him over ridiculous stuff!...And... Will doesn't back down!... He isn't a big guy exactly! He is probably six feet tall and maybe 155ish! Is that about right? Before he use to leave the house I would say, Don't get into any fights! He is a brat! But a sweet brat!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 02:51 PM

170, more like.

"155," that's funny.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 27, 2005 02:52 PM

Heh. Yeah, I was about to rename you "Rail" Franklin.

Posted by: Hoodlumman at July 27, 2005 03:29 PM

I never know!...He isn't fat! I don't understand why he has people want to fight him? Especially at basketball games!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 03:37 PM

It's Texas ... lots of people carry guns ... what kind of moron would throw rocks at someone's window?

Posted by: Joe Grossberg at July 27, 2005 03:46 PM

Joe Grossberg... A Radical Leftist, Anti American, Liberal Democrat, Socialist perhaps?...The Hilary Clintons, Nancy Pelosis, Howard Deans, and Ted Kennedys of the world?... Not to mention Dick Durbin and I am sure there must be more you might be able to point out to me!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 04:09 PM

Liberals.

Supporting free thought...Unless you disagree with them.

Posted by: Brandon at July 27, 2005 04:26 PM

Hello, just the fact that he was so intolerant and had to be right shows who the real BIGOT is! If you see him again... You might tell him not to be surprised if he looks in the dictionary under the word Bigot is his picture!

Posted by: Cindy T. at July 27, 2005 04:28 PM

leftist don't cary guns.
their main weapon is diarrhea of the mouth.

Posted by: Huan at July 27, 2005 04:43 PM

Baby blue longhorn shirt? I thought they only sold those in the female section of the Co-op.

Posted by: Ian Pittman at July 27, 2005 05:03 PM

There's nothing about the shirt that gives it a gender. I mean, it's a t-shirt, it's not cut in a special female way or anything. It doesn't have cute hearts or flowers on it. And it's a normal men's size, too.

And I actually bought it in the normal section, next to all the other non-gendered t-shirts. But I have noticed since then that they are now trying to market them as a female shirt. Which is weird, to me. Why?

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 27, 2005 05:12 PM

Will... Is Ian trying to insinuate you are a cross dresser?...Hmmm...

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 06:12 PM

Oh! Who are the bigots in your neighborhood? In your neighborhood in your neighborhood! ...Sorry I just felt like singing! ...The bigots that you meet each day!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 06:33 PM

Sounds like a threat.

Posted by: Bill at July 27, 2005 07:04 PM

After thinking about it for a bit, I have one theory on this guy. I live in Republican Martha Wong's Texas legislative district and Republican John Culberson's U.S. House district.

So this guy moves into what he believes to be "Montrose," where everyone thinks just like him. When he learns that his house is actually not "pure" Montrose, he feels ripped off.

Sort of like a racist living in what he believes to be a "good" and "white" neighborhood and has that illusion shattered.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 27, 2005 07:34 PM

Don't let him get away with that liberal BS next time my good man!

Posted by: Bill at July 27, 2005 08:19 PM

Don't get into a fight! He is just a stoopid radical redneck Liberal! ... What amazes me is they really believe they are such deep thinkers! I just don't get it???

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 27, 2005 09:23 PM

Re: the shirt.

No reason. I just thought it was funny that you're in a Montrose-ish area wearing what I considered a more effeminate shirt.

However, now that I think about it, maybe that guy was checking you out because of the shirt and then saw the sticker and was even more shocked.

Posted by: Ian Pittman at July 27, 2005 11:23 PM

Yo mama effeminate.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 27, 2005 11:25 PM

Will, had that been me instead of you,,I would have gone into my house while the guy was standing there, and put on another Bush bumper sticker to match the one already attached.
Then, I would have told the guy to stay off my property, because I don't like bigots.

Posted by: Dave at July 27, 2005 11:34 PM

Ah...a defender of tolerance strikes again.

Posted by: Kevin at July 28, 2005 12:03 AM

This is what you can expect from crazed lefties. We had several cars displaying Bush Cheney stickers get keyed in parking lots on Hilton Head during the election.

Last week, my mother was at the Doctor's office and happend to mention she watched FOX NEWS to a patient in the waiting room. The guy launched on her with alarming ferocity.

It's all part of the moral superiority that these people feel entitled to. They decided a long time ago, as Howard Dean said, that there was a "battle between good and evil and we're (Democrats) the good."

You might recall the scene of the little girl who had her Bush sign torn from her hands by a union thug.

These people will not hesitate for one moment to infringe on your right to free expression at the same time they are cramming their leftwing freakshow views down your throat.

Posted by: Mike on Hilton Head Island at July 28, 2005 12:25 AM

I have nothing to say )))

Posted by: Keta at July 28, 2005 04:22 AM

When he asked, does that say Bush Cheney? That was the first clue that this guy was not exactly the brightest bulb.

Posted by: Bill at July 28, 2005 09:33 AM

Bill, that's exactly right.

Will, when it comes to talking/confronting those types, it is far better to always answer any question they fire at you with another question. This usually takes them aback a bit, and from then on you can just keep firing question after question based on what the their previous answer was. It's a classic debating technique and ensures that you maintain the initiative. Every once in while, you actually get lucky and convert one of them....and it's not like you would suffer from any sort of lack of knowledge.

Besides, they are incredibly physically vulnerable when they are standing there, all excitedly flummoxed trying to answer your hair-trigger interrogatives....

surf-actant

Posted by: surf-actant at July 28, 2005 10:02 AM

I usually do get more snippy with people like that, but I was just exhausted from the heat and trying to loosen those lug nuts, which had been torqued on there way too tight.

And he asked if it said "Bush / Cheney" because he was astonished, shocked, and appalled that someone could even have such a sticker. His goofy double-take was part of that act. I think he might have expected/hoped it to be a parody or something.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 28, 2005 10:07 AM

Bro, I hear ya on the heat. I'm a couple of hundred miles east of you on the West bank in NOLA, and it has been stupid hot here also. I took my Boxers outside at 0420 this a.m., and just stood there watching them and perspiring.

I would have paid you ca$h money to hear you retort,"Is that a trick question?"

surf-actant

Posted by: surf-actant at July 28, 2005 10:22 AM

I feel your pain--there was a block party last fall in our neighborhood to welcome some new people and they asked who lived in our house. The hosts responded, "Oh, we didn't invite them. They're Republicans." Well, the joke was on them because the new people were Repubs too--the husband actually worked for BC04. That's how we found out. The party ended badly.

Open, tolerant and inclusive, aren't they?

Posted by: AcademicElephant at July 28, 2005 11:27 AM

Ian Pittman... Do you suppose that Bigot dude thought Will was gay?...Ha!
Will.. just don't let him know where you stand on gay marriage or your house will be egged and demolished!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 28, 2005 01:57 PM

My wife was thinking it have been just really funny if I was gay and the guy yelling at me was not. Sort of an example of a white liberal yelling at a black Republican for being racist or whatever. Liberal paternalism at its finest.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 28, 2005 02:59 PM

I've lived in Martin Frost's district for years, until recently! HA HA!!!

Will, you go, you bigot!!

(ps: what did you do to get the guy to call you a bigot again?)

Posted by: Rob B. at July 28, 2005 03:52 PM

Displaying a bumper sticker that he disagreed with.

Posted by: Will Franklin at July 28, 2005 03:55 PM

You know, when they're yelling those epithets, why, that's just free speech. And you, when you show those bumper stickers, why, that's an assault on free speech.

http://www.whenangrydemocratsattack.com/

Posted by: Giacomo at July 28, 2005 04:58 PM

How can the libs believe they are morally superior? The Dems. are all about abortion and killing innocent handicapped people! Oh? and let's not forget two of their party's Senior Senators! One an "ex-Klu Klux Klan member!...AND... of course Ted run away from the scene of an accident, and leave a woman to drown, party a little more Kennedy!...Not to mention Former Impeached President Bill Clinton! The last I heard those kind of things don't add up to "moral superiority"...

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at July 29, 2005 08:34 AM

Thank God that Morals still exist in some places in this country... No party is perfect but, I can't stay far enough away from the Dems at this point... They would scare me if I wasn't a Christian. You'll have to forgive me right now as my thoughts and prayers are on our leaders and service people over seas protecting us.... That's where our thoughts should be right now - not with opinions and b.s. back here.

Posted by: Evelyn Heald at August 17, 2005 05:18 PM