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Wednesday Caption Contest: Part 23.

This week's WILLisms.com Caption Contest photograph:


The actual caption:

So-called 'naked rambler' Stephen Gough, seen here in June 2005, who was arrested 01 September while attempting to walk the length of Britain in the nude was jailed for two weeks for his antics by an Edinburgh court(AFP/File)

There must be a better caption out there for this photograph.

Entries will remain open until 11:59 PM, Central Standard Time, Tuesday, September 20. Submit your captions in the comments section, or email at WILLisms@gmail.com.

Last week's photo:


Winners from last week:



After Dallas was canceled Patrick Duffy really let himself go, longing for the days before Larry Hagman overshadowed him on TV, the glory years of Man From Atlantis.



Eric had regrets on using his last wish to fill his house shin-deep with Hershey's chocolate syrup.


Kevin Turner (via email):

"The Democratic Party, in desperation to win votes, has discovered a new slogan in the aftermath of Katrina, 'A swimming pool in everyone's living room!'"

Honorable Mention #1

Patrick Carver:

"Maybe I should have gone a little easier on the Pine-Sol."

Honorable Mention #2


Eric patted himself on the back for getting Teflon-Guard[TM] stain protectant when he bought his new couch.

Captioning is delicious, and nutritious.

Enter today!

Posted by Will Franklin · 14 September 2005 10:44 AM


Reminiscent of the old Brooke Shields ads for Calvin Klein, Nokia unveiled its new "I feel naked without my cell phone" ad blitz.

Posted by: KipEsquire at September 14, 2005 11:13 AM

I just couldn't find a thing to wear!...

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at September 14, 2005 11:39 AM

"I feel a distant disturbance in the force, as though someone were setting a "super-duper" legal precedence."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at September 14, 2005 11:52 AM

Thanks for the honorable mention, Will!

For this picture:

"I can't shake the feeling that I forgot something."

Posted by: Patrick Carver at September 14, 2005 12:18 PM

Steve Nash wasn't sure this "Naturalist back to nature hike" was exactly what expected, but Mark Cuban had claimed that it worked wonders for him.

Posted by: Rob B. at September 14, 2005 12:55 PM

Thanks Will!

Posted by: bullwinkle at September 14, 2005 01:00 PM

Stephen Gough looks to the skies, always desperate to keep tabs on the weather. He always faced ridicule from people he passed on the road, but a cold front passing inevitably brought jokes about his "little hitchhiker", those were the cruelest of all.

Posted by: bullwinkle at September 14, 2005 01:09 PM

Looking into the horizon for signs of the New York skyline 3147 miles away Stephen Gough AKA "the naked rambler" was just barely able to catch a glimpse of the remaining scattered remnants of what had once been his dignity dancing in the twilight and yearning for the time before he made the decision to spend the rest of his days with his weiner hanging out.

Posted by: Big E at September 14, 2005 02:26 PM

DAMMIT. Rob stole my Nash idea... now what?

Posted by: Hoodlumman at September 14, 2005 06:48 PM

I was thinking Steve Nash, too. We could have an all-Nash finals if they are good enough.

Posted by: Will Franklin at September 14, 2005 06:59 PM

Steve Nash found the weather to be much hotter in Phoenix than in Dallas and also noticed Arizona had crummy directions.

Posted by: Hoodlumman at September 14, 2005 07:39 PM

After a painful day of hiking, Stephen had decided that on his next outing, he'd go ahead and get that chest waxing.

Posted by: Hoodlumman at September 14, 2005 07:41 PM

Yikes!...Watch out for the jumping cactus!

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at September 14, 2005 08:05 PM

Caption: A preview photo from Michael Moore's 2005 remake of the 1942 movie "Tarzan's New York Adventure." In this scene, star Stephen Gough as Tarzan has hiked from Africa to England and is thinking about duplicating original Tarzan star Johnny Weissmuller's trans-Atlantic swimming feat.

Posted by: Observer at September 14, 2005 08:51 PM

"Hmmmmm. . . I could always blame Bush."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at September 14, 2005 09:54 PM

"I'm not naked! I'm wearing my Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker."

"...and thank You for a place to wear my cell phone that doesn't cause me pain. Amen."

"Only 3147 miles to go, and I'll be HOME!"


Posted by: I. Ronnie at September 15, 2005 07:48 AM

Realizing, at last, that he had mistakenly transposed his wife's promise to "take him on a hike for his birthday" for encouragement to "take a hike in your birthday suit," British subject Stephen Gough finally resolved to seek treatment for his ever-worsening aural dislexia.

Posted by: Bart Harmon at September 15, 2005 11:19 AM

I missed last week's contest, but thought I'd give it a try anyway:

Jerry, now with plenty of time to think about his life, resolved to re-order his pririorities: Yes, "evaucate home before apocolypic flood strikes" should have been higher on the to-do list than "reach highest level on Halo!"

Posted by: Bart Harmon at September 15, 2005 11:46 AM

John Roberts was stunned when a group of environmentalists captured him, took away his Italian pinstriped suit, his silk tie, his starched shirt, his briefcase, his silk socks and his polished Brooks Brothers shoes and forced him to undergo brainwashing.

A month later Roberts was released, without clothes but with long hair. He left his careeer, burned all his $2,000 suits and wingtips in a public bonfire along with law degree and his membership in the GOP and sold his home, stocks and Porsche. He now has a new identity: Barefoot John, Tree Hugger. There is nothing left of the well-dressed, clean-cut lawyer, as we see here from this compelling photo.

Posted by: John at September 15, 2005 10:44 PM

First: Hiker Stephen Gough, "I knew I should have taken a left at Albuquerque."

Second: Ricky Williams to his therapist (while toking), "I knew I had to quit professional football after I dreamed of Stephen Nash hiking naked through Europe."

Third: Lost hiker Stephen Gough, "I can't believe I fell for the old, 'a Viagra erection always points North' routine."

Posted by: Kevin at September 19, 2005 02:53 PM

Fourth: So-called 'naked rambler' Stephen Gough, seen here in June 2005, was arrested 01 September and was jailed for two weeks for his antics by an Edinburgh court. Stephen comments, "Two bloody months. Two. That's how long it took them [the police] to notice me. Walking naked from London to Wales. And you think planting a bomb on a bus is hard?"

Posted by: Kevin at September 19, 2005 03:06 PM

In support of "End the War Now; Stephen Gough (seen striking a pose for photographers) held a 2 minute press conference with reporters Tuesday, discussing the place he will take next to Sheenan, in issues of similar world-wide importance.

Posted by: mensa B at September 21, 2005 12:23 AM

When Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld was asked by conspiracy theorists about possible connections between classified military weather control equipment and the now apparently continuously onslaught of hurricanes on the Gulf Coast, he covered his eyes and muttered in a thick German accent, "I know noth... ing! ... Noth... ing!" Not shown, President George W. Bush was reportedly holding his hands over his ears shouting, "I can't hear you! I can't hear you! Nya Nya Nya Nya!" Deputy Defense secretary Paul Wolfowitz was reportedly holding his hands over his mouth, unable to speak, but with eyes darting nervously about the room.

Posted by: Mark Martin at September 21, 2005 02:13 PM