"How long will wait to applaud at anything the President says, Mrs. Clinton?"

"Two weeks"

"Um, isn't the speech supposed to last maybe an hour?"

"Two weeks... two t-tt-t-two w-w-w-weeeks..."

(okay, so it's an OBSCURE Schwartzenegger quote, but look at that expression!)

"So, I said to Bill... you see these stong white teeth? Remember them the next time you think about unzipping your trousers in front of an intern."

DRUDGEBREAKING: Rabid chipmunk attends State of Union Address. Developing ...

I vant to bite his neck...

Hillary's fangs came out!

AP BREAKING: At the William J. Clinton Presidential Center in Little Rock today, The opening of the first ever DNC Sperm Bank was announced. Former President Bill Clinton was said to have been instrumental in working out the kinks in several prototypes.

Hillary venting to Maya Angelou...
Maya: Honey, I have a mirror in my purse. I want you to look in it. Now tell me what you see?

Alitos confirmation hit Hillary hard...

Hillary gets word that the President will announce a new energy bill...

"Oh, I can make a better fishy face than you...oh yes I can...see!"

Hillary was warned that sleeping on her stomach could cause her face to become deformed! BUT in true liberal fashion she just wouldn't listen!...

Hillary's poker face gives her away every time!...

Unfortunately for Hillary, Ted Kennedy slapped her on the back at this very moment.

I will bet she sues her plastic surgeon?...

Medicare isn't going to pay?...

Rodney, I wish Teddy would have left the slapping up to me!...
Someone stop me! Please!... Okay, that was it!

Quick! She's decompressing!

Am I going to run in 2008? Fo' sssshhhhizzle!

The "ayes" don't have it.

Mr. Michael:
It's not that obscure.

With the Earth still caught in the tail of the deadly comet, the zombie menace continues...

"Crikey! As you can see, y'don't wanna get the North American venom slug backed into a corner. Just stay away - never muck with it..."

"And I was like, 'Social security?! Oh no he di'n!' And she was like, 'Oh yes he did!' And I was like, 'Nuh uh!' And she was like, 'Shyeah, you know it!'"

The golden rod, previously stuck up the former first lady's ass, reaches her brain.

Everything was going fine at the State of the Union until Hillary once again had a "blonde moment" and became distracted by a shiney object.

or

"Oh God, Sheehan is behind you with a Hillary '08 button. Don't look! Don't Look!"

An unexpected reaction between the Senator Clinton's Botox treatments and a Diet Coke couldn't be ignored no matter how hard she tried to play it off.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton practices smiling in advance of President Bush's State of the Union Adress. In past years, Senator Clinton has been on the receiving end of criticism for her sour expressions during Bush's speeches, and is determined to silence those critics tonight. January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed

She looks like she is trying to suck all the oxygen out of the room.

No one expected Hillary's reaction when she heard that Chealsa and Ted Kennedy were last seen leeaving the Chappaquiddick Island Bar headed towards Poucha Pond.

Though determined, once again Hillary fails in her attempt to walk and chew gum at the same time.

I'm MELTING! Meltiiiiiiing ... what a world, what a world.

"I ate Bill's liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Ff-ff-fftttttttt"

A plantation worker from the House of Representatives thanks Senator Hillary Clinton for her support.

"I'm sorry Senator Clinton, but the earwig was female and it had just laid its eggs."

Senator Clinton was hoping the large crowd for the SOTU Address would hide the tell tale signs of the bean soup dinner she had eaten hurriedly 2 hours earlier.

"I wait three years for a face transplant and the only one you could find is Hillary's? Are you frickin' kidding me?"

"Preeeeccccious...my precious."

"...and the baby cried"

Botox ain't got nothing on what I'm taking!

I'm going to SUCK!!! ... your BLOOD!!!

The hypnotic stare that transfixes the victim moments before the alien's strike decapitates it's prey.

You see, somebody slapped me on the back and it's just been stuck this way.

She is hung-over from that Botox party Nancy Pelosi threw!...

Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!

See, I do not have a race horse tatoo on the inside of her lip.

Bill's inflatable love doll expells some hot air, becoming deformed.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course.

Of course, she's an ass's horse, she is. Or is it the other way around.

My grandfather, the taxidermist, made these strange and wonderful creations, inserting glass eyes into the back ends of people's big game animals. And that's a true story. Caption or not? You decide.

Wow, I saw this picture on the Reuters site Wed. afternoon and thought I was the first to see it and post a contest. Oh well. Feel free to use any of the comments on the GOP and College contest as entries for this out of respect for discovering it first.

But of course I've got to post my caption:
Hillary practices her own version of the Dean Scream, "The Hillary Hiss"

The remake of the remake of The Shining where Hillary plays the part of bucktooth Danny never took off because of the botched lines.
What Bush heard: "Run, Rumsfeld, Run!"
What Cheney heard: "Big Red One! Send The Big Red One!"
What Cindy heard: "Wet Ones! Wet Ones!"
What Monica heard: "Wed Him! Wed Him!"
What Bill heard: "Red Worm! Red Worm!"
What Hillary said: "Wed Wum! Wed Wum"

After a bitter public dispute with Alvin and Simon over song-writing credit on their hit single "Christmas Don't Be Late", Hillary the one time "fourth Chipmunk", split with the band and went on to pursue a career as a Communist.

Briefly forced to come up for air, Hillary gives her all, 'Sucking Up' to keep minority voters on the Plantation.

a 'Fark'...

Hillalien

Hillary tragically misunderstands advice from her media consultant to "be less cheeky"