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Due: July 29, 2008

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Willisms

« Trivia Tidbit Of The Day: Part 261 -- Out-Of-Control Government Spending. | WILLisms.com | Trivia Tidbit Of The Day: Part 262 -- Rock The Vote. »

Wednesday Caption Contest: Part 42.

This week's WILLisms.com Caption Contest photograph:

sleeprumsfeld.gif

The actual caption:

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld (R) and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Peter Pace discuss the military spending in George W. Bush's 2007 budget during a news conference at the Pentagon in Washington February 6, 2006. The budget requests $439.3 billion in discretionary budget authority for the Department of Defense, a seven percent increase over last year's budget. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)

Surely there's a better caption for this photograph.

Entries will remain open until 11:59 PM, Central Standard Time, Tuesday, February 14. Submit your captions in the comments section, or email at WILLisms@gmail.com.

Last week's photo:

hilleyes.gif

Winners from last week (this week was difficult to judge with such a profusion of great entries):

1.

DaveD:

A plantation worker from the House of Representatives thanks Senator Hillary Clinton for her support.


2.

Charles Simpson (via email):

“WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW!!!!?!?!?!?!”


3.

Rob B.:

"Oh God, Sheehan is behind you with a Hillary '08 button. Don't look! Don't Look!"


Honorable Mention #1

Andy:

"So, I said to Bill... you see these stong white teeth? Remember them the next time you think about unzipping your trousers in front of an intern."


Honorable Mention #2

Hoodlumman:

An unexpected reaction between the Senator Clinton's Botox treatments and a Diet Coke couldn't be ignored no matter how hard she tried to play it off.


Honorable Mention #3

clay:

"I wait three years for a face transplant and the only one you could find is Hillary's? Are you frickin' kidding me?"


Honorable Mention #4

the paperboy:

Bill's inflatable love doll expells some hot air, becoming deformed.


Honorable Mention #5

Rodney Dill:

A horse is a horse, of course, of course.


Honorable Mention #6

Buckley F. Williams:

After a bitter public dispute with Alvin and Simon over song-writing credit on their hit single "Christmas Don't Be Late", Hillary the one time "fourth Chipmunk", split with the band and went on to pursue a career as a Communist.


Honorable Mention #7

BAD-D-D-DUDE (via email):

I said "no more wire hangers!"


Honorable Mention #8

DANEgerus:

Briefly forced to come up for air, Hillary gives her all, 'Sucking Up' to keep minority voters on the Plantation.

Honorable Mention #9

Trint:

"And I was like, 'Social security?! Oh no he di'n!' And she was like, 'Oh yes he did!' And I was like, 'Nuh uh!' And she was like, 'Shyeah, you know it!'"

Honorable Mention #10

Bubba Goop (via email):

"Aside from a swift knee to the groin, what method works best to keep Bill at bay", inquired a constituent to Senator Clinton Tuesday.

Honorable Mention #11

Zsa Zsa:

Hillary's poker face gives her away every time!...


Honorable Mention #12

Mr. Michael:

"How long will wait to applaud at anything the President says, Mrs. Clinton?"

"Two weeks"

"Um, isn't the speech supposed to last maybe an hour?"

"Two weeks... two t-tt-t-two w-w-w-weeeks..."


Honorable Mention #13

Rodney Dill:

DRUDGEBREAKING: Rabid chipmunk attends State of Union Address. Developing ...


Honorable Mention #14

Izzy:

The golden rod, previously stuck up the former first lady's a$$, reaches her brain.


Honorable Mention #15

Mr. Michael:

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton practices smiling in advance of President Bush's State of the Union Adress. In past years, Senator Clinton has been on the receiving end of criticism for her sour expressions during Bush's speeches, and is determined to silence those critics tonight. January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed

Captioning is the choice of a new generation.

Enter today!

Posted by Will Franklin · 8 February 2006 10:03 AM

Comments

Shut up, settle down, and you all can have the antidote when the conference is over.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at February 8, 2006 10:14 AM

"A la tuhuelpa legria Macarena!
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena!
A la tuhuelpa legria Macarena,

Aaaaaaa, Macarena!!"

Posted by: Hoodlumman at February 8, 2006 10:32 AM

Rumsfeld found that hypnosis was the only way to get the Joint Chiefs to buy into his vision of the future role of the US Military in fighting the global war on terrorism.

Posted by: DaveD at February 8, 2006 11:17 AM

Rumsfeld again misjudges his audience by using sign language to deliver a speech on defense policy to a crowd of blind partisans.

Posted by: DaveD at February 8, 2006 11:21 AM

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield, bored with the pedestrian nature of the questions at his news conference, practices his budding powers of mental telepathy by causing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to fall asleep as he stands at the podium beside him.

Posted by: bad-d-d-dude at February 8, 2006 11:23 AM

"Thank you, thank you so much. You're too kind. And, now, for my next number, Toccata and Fugue in D Minor."

Posted by: Giacomo at February 8, 2006 12:47 PM

"Imagine a string, held between my hands. That's the line, Helen, don't cross it. Or else."

Posted by: Giacomo at February 8, 2006 12:51 PM

"I will now make Peter Pace cluck like a chicken."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 8, 2006 01:21 PM

However, I am pleased to announce that we've put the $493 billion of taxpayers money to good use, developed invisible strings to go with the invisible puppet we built last year.

Look - it's dancing.

Posted by: Andy at February 8, 2006 04:26 PM

Oops. That should have been:

I am pleased to announce that we've put the $493 billion of taxpayers money to good use, developed invisible strings to go with the invisible puppet we built last year.

Look - it's dancing.

Posted by: Andy at February 8, 2006 04:27 PM

Hmmm, no, that wasn't right either. I need a good copy-editor. Maybe this time:

I am pleased to announce that we've put the $493 billion of taxpayers money to good use - we've developed invisible strings to go with the invisible puppet we built last year.

Look - it's dancing.

Posted by: Andy at February 8, 2006 04:45 PM

"There are not the hemorrhoids you are looking for."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 8, 2006 08:25 PM

Put 'em together and look what you've got...bippity boppety boo.

(do you remember that song from the old school Cinderella movie?)

Posted by: business babe at February 9, 2006 09:11 AM

Don Rumsfeld and Peter Pace square off against Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck (not pictured) in the Pentagon version of "Hungarian Rhapsody." Much hilarity ensued.

Posted by: John at February 9, 2006 12:03 PM

"I was positioned perfectly and struck the small of her back with a classic kung fu tiger claw thrust. Hillary's face has been frozen in the most hideous contorted expression ever since."

(yes it is for this weeks picture)

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 9, 2006 12:34 PM

Helen Thomas: "Secretary Rumsfeld, how would you characterize your response to the 'Shark-like' danger that military spending has become to the federal deficit."
Donald Rumsfeld: "I think we're gonna need a bigger bloat."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 9, 2006 12:41 PM

Sec. Rumsfeld: "Oh, I know you keep saying that we'll never find WMD's in Iraq... New York Times said 'You'll never find..." Boston Globe reporter just the other day did it to; he said "You'll never find..."

You'll never find... hey that reminds me of that Barry White song... you know the one: "You'll never find.... (Bum bummmm budda bummmm)"

Chief Pace: "Uh, Mister Secretary, I believe that was actually Lou Rawls. Oh, uh, sorry, um... nice Air Piano, sir."

Posted by: Mr. Michael at February 9, 2006 07:48 PM

As a demonstration of his true power, Darth Rumsfeld prepares to unleash a round of "Force lightning" on the assembled members of the press.

Posted by: Mr. Right at February 10, 2006 11:32 AM

After Donald Rumsfeld demonstrated his new hypnotic technique at a recent Pentagon briefing, the press reaction was unanimous: "I love it! Much better than Cats! I'm going to see it again and again!"

Posted by: Jim Rose at February 10, 2006 11:39 AM

In a special news conference, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld indicates that the extra seven percent of next years budget will be used to train an elite unite of the Special Forces in the Wierding Way. "It works on terrorists, and moonbats alike. Watch as I simultaneously bend a single joint in my middle finger while using the Voice to approve the budget."

Posted by: the paperboy at February 10, 2006 04:12 PM

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Peter Pace had tried and tried to tell Rumsfeld that using gang signs was a 'bad idea' when pitching this budget to the NAACP but it was to no avail as Rummy asked the crowd,"Who let the Pork out!"

Posted by: Rob B. at February 10, 2006 04:29 PM

"Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld entertains the crowd during a news conference at the Pentagon with his air-piano rendition of 'Stairway to Heaven' while Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Peter Pace rocks on to his right."

Posted by: Buckley F. Williams at February 11, 2006 10:38 AM

Ok, General, I've put these press bozos in a trance. Have your men tie all their shoelaces together, then I'll wake them up and shout "fire!".

Posted by: D. Carter at February 11, 2006 05:20 PM

You do to the bathroom with the arthritis you have not the arthritis you wish you didn't have.

Posted by: spacemonkey at February 11, 2006 05:37 PM

You go to the bathroom with the arthritis you have, not the arthritis you wish you didn't have.

Posted by: spacemonkey at February 11, 2006 05:41 PM

"Ok minions, all together now...
Imhotep... imhotep... imhotep..."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 12, 2006 11:07 AM