So I snuck up on Dick and said "BOO!"

Which is as funny as a heart attack until... well... that whole Whittington thing.

We mailed him an 'I [heart] Dick' bumper sticker and I'm pretty sure Harry put it on his SUV.

[snickers]

I got a million of 'em!

Oh my gosh! Anna Nichole is going to be here! I am such a big fan of Anna Nichole! Oh gosh! Does my hair look ok??? ...

"I support Stem Cell research, but only for hair replacement!"

You put your right foot in. You put your right foot out. You put your right foot in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn it all around. That's what it's all about!... Same with the abortion issue!

"Calm down or I won't tell the Rat joke!"

"Scalia is my name not a skin condition!"

"Don't shoot, Dick!"

"Kobe! I'm Open!"

Embracing the role of the Left's boogeyman, Scalia demonstrates for AEI how he plans on emerging from Helen Thomas's closet later that evening.

"... but I live in a van ... down by the river!"

For the last time! I am not attracted to Ruth!...

Justice Scalia, performing "O Solo Mio" on American Idol. Later, Scalia was heard calling Simon Cowell an "idiot" for believing in a "living Constitution" and for having voted to kick off Mikalah Gordon.

Two Wins in a row? Holy crap the pressure to 3-peat is huge. I'm going to have to think hard on this one.

"Slowly I turned....and step by step.....I crept away till ..... I was out of VP's line of fire."

Just an aside, I listened to the entire speech by Scalia at AEI and it was phenomenol. And afterwards during his Q&A a bunch of A-hole punk college kids heckled him and would not shut up about Iraq and Cheney. It was so sad. Dude is a genius.

Daaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy-O!

Now I will show you my Jazz Hands!...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Justice Scalia. You've hunted with the Vice-President. What do you remember of your experience?"

"Justice Scalia. How would you react if Anna Nicole Smith offered to lap dance for a favorable ruling?"

Justice Scalia prepares to size up Anna Nicole Smith's assets...

(To Howard Dean after the DNC chairman drops his Cloak of the Sith to reveal that Dean is in fact the sinister Darth Shmuckious

"You want force lightning? Here's some Force Lightning, Bee-Yotch!"

At open mike night at the AEI, Antonin Scalia scores laughs with his "liberals caught like deer in the headlights of oncoming Supreme Court conservatism" routine.

The people at Artists Electrical Inhibitor were flattered that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia would consider using their product to help attorneys know when their time was up and to stop excess run ons in their arguments. However, they realized that they had left the setting on "Stop an Oscar Acceptance speech" one second too late.

OOOOHH, you think you've got spirit fingers? THESE are spirit fingers!

Justice Scalia does his impression of a fetus during a partial birth abortion.

"Fooood fiiiight!"

For my next trick, I will make this glass of water vanish faster than a goldigger's millions.

It did not forebode any good for George Bush as the Scalia of Justice tipped ever so slightly to the left.

"... And usually when Ginsberg falls asleep I sneak up on her, like this, and go BOOGA BOOOGA BOOOGA!!

Scalia, also known as a hunter, discloses his evasive tactics employed when hunting with the VP.

(though Maggie already has a caption along this vein)

The crowd soon learned that Andres Cantor's job was safe.

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was turned to stone during a recent press conference after ignoring security's advice and making brief eye contact with Helen Thomas.