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Willisms

« Army Reenlistment Is Up | WILLisms.com | Quotational Therapy: Part 90 -- Instant Democrats? »

Life Phases - For Geeks

***Updated***

I had a very nice opening paragraph written about my kids and watching them grow up and remembering back to when I was a kid and stuff like that. But then after writing these phases I realized that only a certain group of kids go through these particular phases: geeks/nerds. Oh well, this pretty much sums up my life.

Phase I: Discovery of the Beatles

This hit me around age 13. I found my Mom and Dad's old Beatles records. I played Rubber Soul and was hooked. What inevitably ensues is a rush to find out as much obscure Beatles trivia and then to bore your parents and friends with said trivia.

Such as:

Kid: You know that the Beatles were a huge influence on (name ANY generic rock band)

Friend: Uh huh...

Kid: Yeah, they totally rocked for their time and every band in the world owes something to them.

Friend: Rolls eyes.

There may also be violent arguments about whether or not The Monkeys were a real band or not.

Phase II: Discovery of Mel Brooks Movies

This is the first phase that involves reciting verbatim all of Mel's movies. Don't forget such classics as Young Frankenstein and Blazzing Saddles. Don't get me wrong, I love both movies and own them both and still make my wife roll her eyes by quoting them. It is just that going around quoting fart jokes or being appalled/shocked/humored at how Mel Brooks can get away with using the N-word can get on peoples nerves. Some of your friends will think you are huge geek as well.

Phase III: Discovery of Monty Python

This phase and the previous phase almost go hand in hand. About the time I saw a Mel Brooks movie for the first time, I also saw an episode of Monty Python on public television. They were showing almost all the old episodes late at night. I was flipping channels to get to MTV when I passed a naked woman on PBS. Naturally, I HAD to watch that channel to find out why there was a naked woman on TV and would they show more naked women. I found out that they liked to use old vintage "porn" shots in some of Terry Gilliam's montages. But a few episodes in and I was hooked. Then it was watching The Holy Grail and The Life of Brian and then quoting all the sketches and lines. I even had the complete scripts for each show.

Needless to say, my parents and most of my friends did not "get" the joke. But I found a small group of fellow nerds who did and all one had to say was "The larch" and everyone would start laughing.

Phase IV: Discovery of Led Zeppelin

I was actually older when this happened to me, but for most kids it happens around the middle of High School. It can be accompanied by first time pot smoking or trying to impress some girl. This phase is much like the Beatles phase. You collect posters, CD's and trivia about the band. You quickly explain away all the magic or Druid/Celtic messages in the songs. You bring up how cool it is that they reference The Lord of the Rings books. Of course you buy a guitar and learn to play the opening to Stairway to Heaven and then play the opening until your parents ears bleed.

I know that there are many, many more phases that kids go through, but having gone to a geeky college, I can tell you for a fact that most of my buddies went through these phases. At the time, you felt very intense about whatever it was you were into. I remember thinking and saying "If they only understood how awesome the Beatles were..." No wonder I did not get many dates in high school.

Quoting movies continued through college and I still find myself quoting them when a particular life moment just screams for a Simpsons quote, a Monty Python quote or a Pulp Fiction quote.

*Sigh* I guess I am still a geek at heart.

I almost forgot to add this all important phase:

Phase V: Playing D&D or Any Other Game That Involves Dice and Hit Sheets

I never played D&D...BUT I was big into Squad Leader. It was a board based squad level World War II game. The game had the interchangeable terrain boards with a grid of hexes and you rolled dice to determine if you hit and the damage done. It was great. We would set a point amount to spend "building" our forces (each type of unit had a point value) then we would spend hours and hours setting up and planning our strategy. Then we would play for a total of 45 minutes. Why only that long? Well, by then who ever was playing as the Germans had already wiped out all the opposing US tanks and then it was no fun. At least German vs Russian was a little more balanced.

So it was not D&D and we were not the geeks who talked about their Level 5 Elf with +5 Melee Attack. But, we were geeks who talked about tank side armor values, whether or not a artillery piece counted as a vehicle for hit purposes and got excited when our .50 machine gun crew spotted infantry moving in the open.

WunderKraut no longer writes at WunderKraut.com because he is a bureaucratic tool and does not have time anymore.

Posted by Wunderkraut · 10 April 2006 08:20 PM

Comments

The Monkees so totally WERE a real band!

Posted by: Ken McCracken at April 10, 2006 08:41 PM

I also had the "Watch every Sho Kasougi "Ninja" Movie" phase and the "The Cure Rules/ The Cure sucks/ The Cure is pretty good now that everyone else thinks it sucks" phase.

I just miss making out with goth chicks during 120 minutes on MTV but pausing long enough to watch Aeon Flux.

BTW, Morrisey, that abstinence thing never caught on. Sorry.

Posted by: Rob B. at April 10, 2006 08:58 PM

Rob,

Yeah that is another phase. Mine was Metallica. Mind you this was in 1990 or so. Back when they were really heavy and MTV would not touch them and the radio did not play them. I thought I was cool because I had every album of theirs. Even the original Garage Days EP. I wrote write out song lyrics and generally try to scare the upper middle class kids who populated my class. It worked, but it did cut down on the dates. I never was able to sell my soul for chicks. I mean Goth chicks rule, but I could not bring myself to look the part or to like the music. I was to principled man! Again, the dates...not so many.

Posted by: WunderKraut at April 11, 2006 06:55 AM

Ken,

I almost used the quote from Dumb and Dumber:

Look, they have the Monkees on here. D'you know they were a major influence on the Beatles?

Posted by: WunderKraut at April 11, 2006 07:00 AM

As a hs grad of the class of '91, bring on the D&D, Metalica and scaring the middle class white kids. I never dressed the goth part either but those were the girls destined to get tongune piercings and they were less emotional effort that the preppy chicks.

(A note to kids today: Date goth chicks, they expect to be disappointed and unhappy. With that as a startingblock, you can do no wrong.)

Posted by: Rob B. at April 11, 2006 09:11 AM

HA! ...You guys are so funny! I love the to be disappointed and unhappy. Does this mean I could quite possibly be a goth chick?

Posted by: Zsa Zsa at April 11, 2006 12:44 PM

Rob,

The quote was so good, that I had to cross post it. Bravo for making me laugh today.

Posted by: Justin B at April 11, 2006 03:32 PM

Marcel Treyton Peter Dawson Kadin Romeo

Posted by: Kelvin at April 27, 2006 05:10 PM