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Mar. 21, 2005 11:50 AM

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Health Care vs. Wealth Care.
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Americans Voting With Their Feet.
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Idea Majorities Matter.
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The "Shrinking" Middle Class.
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From Ashes, GOP Opportunities.
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Let Economic Freedom Reign.
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Biggest Health Care Moment In Decades.
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Unions Antithetical to Liberty.
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Right To Work States Rock.
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Social Security Reform Thursday.
March 13, 2008

Caption Contest: Enter Today!
Due: July 29, 2008

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Mar. 14, 2006

Quotational Therapy: Obama.
Apr. 4, 2008

Mainstream Melee: Wolfowitz.
May 19, 2007

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A WILLisms.com(ic), by Ken McCracken
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Wednesday Caption Contest GREATEST HITS!

Okay all you caption goombahs out there (you know who you are), here are the primo captions as chosen by Will and myself from the consistently impressive competition in WILLisms captioning -

Will's faves:

Rodney Dill's inaugural winner


The soldiers had searched her a number of times, but it wasn't until years later that they figured out she was stealing baby strollers.



Sven still wasn't one-hundred percent mindful on the concept of incognito.



Concerned with a backlash from the Jackson trial and the Catholic Priest scandals, Menudo opts for a new look in 2005.

Jim Rose


Austin Hilsmier, 3, from Chicago enjoys this interactive art exhibit titled, "That's Not Water".

Ben Evans


The Say Dez School of Safe Driving proudly announces the opening of their new drive thru window.

Another Rodney Dill


Chavez: "I'm please to have such a well known celebrity as Bill Cosby come and visit our beautiful country."

Rodney Dill again


As Harry Reid comes in touch with his feminine side, he realizes in shock that he can't stop touching it.



"DJ Abdul in the house! Where my Shi'ites at? We raisin' da roof on this mosque! Holla"



Sean Penn accepts his "I'm #1" button while still in character from Sam I Am.


After a good-luck kiss from her long-time coach, Maria was tossed a record 36 feet, 4 inches.

Zsa Zsa


Mia Hamm Denies Steroid Use in Women's Soccer

My faves:


It suddenly occurred to Bridget that the only difference between a spa treatment and her mudwrestling gig was who got paid.


Star Wars fans were thrilled today as dazzling computer generated scenes from the upcoming sequel "Attack of the Cloning Tool" were released to the Reuters news agency....

Rodney Dill

The expectations for the new Silver Surfer movie far exceeded the actual event.

Heheheh, this caption over at File It Under is my all time fave however -




And now . . . this week's WILLisms.com Caption Contest photograph:

burned man.jpg

Here is the actual caption:
Workers assess the damage to The Man after an arsonist who climbed up its leg lit the structure on fire on Tuesday morning, Aug. 28, 2007, in the Black Rock Desert in Gerlach, Nev.
Well that caption just sucks. Give us a real caption, please!

Entries will remain open until 11:59 PM, Central Standard Time, Tuesday, September 7. Submit your captions in the comments section, or email at mccracken.ken@gmail.com.

Last week's photo:

burnin love.jpg

Winners from last week: 1. Nathan Hale:

Attempting to disguise his true nature, the latest reincarnation of the Panchen Lama decided to hide himself in plain view. [ed. - Dude, working Panchen Lama into a caption gets you bonus points. Well done.]

2. Mica Vim Toot:

Herve Villachaize portrays Baby Doc Duvalier in "Haitian Tattoo!" August 28-29 5pm, at the Melody Tent.

Tickets still available.

3. Mr. Bagel:

Kim's rendition of Jail House Wok was unique.

All your caption are belong to us! Enter today!

Posted by Ken McCracken · 29 August 2007 01:08 PM


"oil can....... oil can...... oil can....

(And thanks for the review of past contests)

Posted by: rodney dill at August 29, 2007 03:15 PM

"I thought when they said I'd be repairing transformers, they meant on electric poles.."

Posted by: rodney dill at August 29, 2007 03:17 PM

Greg and Phil had nowhere to run when the giant robot mistook their crane for a female robot.

Posted by: Hoodlumman at August 29, 2007 04:21 PM

Yes, there seems to be a malfunction in his sprinkler system.

Posted by: elliot at August 29, 2007 06:01 PM

"Put the Viagra away Ralph, I said we needed an Erector Set to fix this..."

Posted by: rodney dill at August 29, 2007 06:44 PM

Joe, I'm going to throw you off this crane if you sing one more note of that damn Styx song "Mr. Roboto".

Posted by: Bigfoot at August 29, 2007 09:16 PM

Woo-hoo! Week after week, I labored in the caption mines, only to strike comedic dirt. Master would beat me for my failures.

Then, last week, I finally hit silver. This week--gold!

Master, thank you, thank you, for redeeming me! I shall do my best to remain in your good favor!

Posted by: Nathan Hale at August 30, 2007 01:15 AM

(Kneeling worker to standing worker) "Dude, you're right! Once you try black, you don't go back!"

Posted by: Nathan Hale at August 30, 2007 01:17 AM

Larry Wachowski: "Andy dude, I'm telling you, if we're gonna make this Matrix movie work, we gotta do it with computer graphics, not life-sized models!"

Posted by: Nathan Hale at August 30, 2007 10:22 AM

Disenfranchised minorities finally realize their dream of "Sticking it to The Man."

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at August 30, 2007 01:35 PM

Make those ribs more pronounced! Knock off all that excess material on the legs! Aw man, we're never gonna get this tribute done in time for Nicole's birthday...Lionel's gonna kill us!

Posted by: Cowboy Blob at August 30, 2007 02:43 PM

"Klaatu Barata Ni...geez, cut it out! That tickles!"

Posted by: fool at August 30, 2007 02:55 PM

The workers had no idea that they were about to become the first victims of the evil transformer Phallitor.

Posted by: Nathan Hale at August 30, 2007 09:21 PM

They knew the most important step in building the body around the skeleton was to get the boobs right first.

Posted by: Julie at August 31, 2007 08:29 PM

Thanks Ken!

Caption: And thus ends Tim Burtons' efforts to shoot in 100 percent scale.

Posted by: Cullen at September 3, 2007 09:26 AM